moments in time
by hakuisagirl
Summary: i dont own the charcaters or the story. i just rewrote it as i saw it. haku's life. this is my first attempt at writing anything. please be kind. this story line just drove me to write it down. i hope it is ok. rated t for minor implied relationships. R


They say that when you are about to die your entire life flashes before your eyes. They are wrong. What flashes before your eyes are the moments in your life that have brought you to this moment in time. As I lay here now, these are the moments I see.

I am 4 yrs old. Today is my birthday and my life is perfect. I am sitting in the snow playing with the rabbits that live in our forest, while my father is chopping wood for my mother. Normally the women do this chore but my father loves my mother so much that he refuses to let her do this for herself. The other men all tease him, but he doesn't care. Nothing means more to him than my mother and me. The men approach him today but they are not laughing. I can not hear all of their conversation, but I do hear my father say "my daughter too?" then my father grabs his ax and goes into the house. Curious to see him before he goes to work I rush into the house. My mother is on her knees, my father is crying above her. "If I don't kill you both the villagers will." My mother weeps, "please don't kill our daughter, she has shown no signs of the kekkeigenkai. Kill me and leave my body for the village, but take her and run." My father cries as he raises the ax above the love of his life…

I am 7 yrs old. Today is my birthday. The other boys on the street all watch for me. At first they did so with lust in their eyes. Now they do so with fear. I have stopped dressing in frilly clothes as they draw to much attention. It is easier to pass my self off as a boy and avoid the extra confrontations….

I am 9 yrs old. Today is my birthday. I am starving. The other gangs will not allow me near them. They travel in packs and threaten to turn me in if I defend myself. I am scared, hungry and utterly alone. I am living in dumpsters hunting for garbage to sustain myself. I see a dog hungrily dragging a bone. I jump on her and take the bone. It has been along time since I have been friends with anything, let alone the wild animals of my youth. As she scampers away to her hiding place I notice that she has a litter of pups….

I am 11 yrs old. Today is my birthday. I am at the end of my rope. I am about to freeze to death, if I don't starve first. I have no friends, no family, no future, and no purpose. I contemplate jumping off the bridge when he shows up….

I am 17 yrs old. Today is my birthday. I am no longer alone, no longer hungry, no longer scared of strangers. I have a purpose. I am a tool. I serve and protect him. What others saw as liabilities he sees as an asset. He has made me strong. He has given me everything I have. In my own way I love him. I am still scared of the truth, scared to tell him that I am not the perfect tool because I am a girl. I long for the day when I will be confident enough to tell him all my secrets….

I am 18 yrs old. I have just rescued my one true love. He has just fought with Kakashi the copy nin. I want to take this opportunity to tell him my secrets, but he is too focused on revenge. So instead I put on my only feminine kimono, and go to the forest to pick herbs and flowers. I do not mind if others see me in my feminine garb, they are too afraid of me to say anything. In the forest I come upon a lonely blond haired genin. He is no threat to me. I talk with him a while. I get up to leave and realize that he is more of a threat to me than any others. So I say to him "by the way, I am a boy."….

I am 19 yrs old. Today is my birthday. I was right about the blond boy. He has exposed my weakness. I can not tell Zabusa that I am a woman, and that I love him. Zabusa only needs me as a weapon, and I have failed him. Kakashi is winning, the genin are winning and I can do nothing but allow them to win. I can no longer bring myself to kill. But maybe I can tell him that I love him. I leave my post and step in front of Kakashi's attack. I have finally found a way to express my love for him. I am lying here now and it is getting colder, but I do not care. The villagers are turning on the man I love, and I can not help him. He is wounded badly, and I can not help him. All I can do is lie here and wait. His last wish is to be laid next to me so he can whisper to my ears alone. "You are the **woman** of my heart... I love you Haku."…..


End file.
